Climb the boxcars to the engine

I am making a list of resolutions for the upcoming semester, in the hopes that the people who read this are the people most likely to make sure that I am keeping them. Here goes:

1. I will actually keep to the schedule I say that I try to every semester... which means... except in times of extenuating circumstances (i.e. finals week, papers, etc.)I will actually approach school as if it is a 9 to 5 job, thereby allowing my to have a "life" that does not always involve my schoolwork.
2. I will sleep more. Seriously. None of this up 'til 3am shit. I'm gettin' old.
3. In that vein, I will try to keep to a uniform sleep schedule in terms of when I wake up each morning. This shouldn't be too much of an issue during the week because my three classes are all morning classes on consecutive days, but I want to try to keep to 10am at the latest on days when I'm not in class.
4. I will attempt to participate more in class; I know that's my weak point.
5. I bought a Fitness Flex Pass from the Recreation Office which allows me to attend various aerobic/cardio/stretching type classes whenever I want any day of the week. I intend to actually use it. Endorphins are my friend.
6. I will try not to spend all my money on Amazon. I will try really hard.

I feel like those are pretty solid. Let's hope I can actually keep a few of them...

Rawr.

I think New Jersey is finally getting to me. I was pacing the halls of A.C. Moore (like Michael's for you Ohioans) this morning after paying my term bill (*gag*) and realizing that I had ingested no form of caffeine in the entire three hours that I'd been conscious... and I started to get that feeling that, if something did not change that second, I would go all Incredible Hulk and eat the first-born child of the lady with the heavy Joisey accent in the next row. Or maybe that was just the lack of caffeination talking...

Anyway, one thing that stands out in the category of "Things I Hate About New Jersey" is Pathmark. Yes, it's just a measley grocery store. And yes, I still patronize it on a regular basis because there's one next to Target and I'm lazy. However, as I mentioned in my last post, I started reading Julie & Julia (in preparation for both the movie's release and my quest to combat my hatred for all French food that is not in pastry form)... and Julie Powell articulates quite epically why Pathmark deserves the venomous thoughts of all sane people. She's trying to find sugar cubes to make an orange Bavarian cream for her brother, and she writes:

The Key Food on Thirty-sixth Street in Astoria didn't have sugar cubes either, though I did pick up the beets and potatoes for the Salade a la d'Argenson that I had totally forgotten to get at Western Beef because I'd written them down at the last minute, on the other side of the shopping list. So I tried the Pathmark. I'd never been to the Pathmark, and let me tell you, I'm never going again. There's nothing I need that much. The sliding doors at the Pathmark open into a wide, white, empty hallway, totally devoid of any sign of life or foodstuffs. At any moment I expected to see a chiseled Aryan commandant come around the corner to usher me along: "Ja, please, right this way, take a cart, the food is just through here." But I was at last funneled into not a gas chamber, but a glaring white supermarket the size of a stadium, where for the price of the existential horror felt upon witnessing families buying two carts full of RC cola and generic cheese doodles, or a lonely older man purchasing three dozen packages of ramen noodles and four cartons of no-pulp orange juice, I could procure sugar cubes.

Haaa. I really like this book so far.

Stranded in this spooky town

I apologize for the lack of any kind of posts recently. Baseball observations sans anger are at a minimum this season, my thoughts this summer have been mostly Twitter-size and not blog post-sized, and... I've been resting my brain. So much so that I'm actually taking in my first episode of Gossip Girl ever while typing this. For a show known for its smut factor, I must say that I am unimpressed.

Part of the problem with this summer, though, has been the fact that I apparently can't read as fast as I used to. Some might suggest this might be the result of not choosing books that aren't really compelling... or even *gasp* bad, but really, that's not the case. I mean, maybe A Pint of Plain: Tradition, Change, and the Fate of the Irish Pub was a rather leisurely read... and I really loved Big Sur! Maybe even more than The Dharma Bums or On The Road... I even managed to drop about 90 pages of it when I had a layover in the Detroit airport at five o'freakin' clock in the morning.

(I would just like to interject that the kid who plays (I think) Blake Lively's little brother played an internet baby raper on SVU... this will eternally amuse me)

So what's the problem then? Has school killed my ability to read for pleasure? Or is this just another symptom of my inability to focus? For example, I should be (re)teaching myself German, and yet, I'm only on Kapitel 3 of Jannach's German For Reading Knowledge. Which I purchased in June. Who knows. I bought Julie & Julia because the book cover claimed that Julie Powell is "profane" (comme moi) and "the Chris Rock of cooking." Perhaps that will allow me to pick up the pace? Or just... eat a lot. We'll see.

(Two final observations: 1) Every time I hear Kristen Bell as the voice of Gossip Girl, I am happy. They should have just never cancelled Veronica Mars. 2) Every time they run a commercial for the re-vamp of Melrose Place, I am conflicted; as much as I would love to see Sydney unleash her special brand of crazy on a group of far-too-beautiful unknowns, I... fear that the CW is not going to get lucky twice with re-vamps.)

This show is inane; I can believe everybody in my program watches it. On to more ER.

Electric eyes are everywhere

A Michael Jackson commentary of some sort has been requested, and as such, I have chosen to live-blog the funeral. I will attempt to be on my best behavior.

Also, I turned on Ch. 5 as a reflex thinking, "Oh, ABC should be safe until NBC starts their coverage." Except... Ch. 5 on NYC cable is Fox. I only just realized that I've been watching Fox News for the last 20 minutes. On that note, it's funny to hear Fox News people attempt to talk about race politics.

Annnnnnnd hello, Brian Williams. Lester. Good day.

That crowd is insane. I feel like this is less a reflection on who MJ is as an artist and legend and more of the kind of person who becomes a die-hard Michael Jackson fan. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

Oh man, Lester... "the last time I saw coverage of this magnitude was when they selected a new pope." Oh mannnnn, way to qualify for about five minutes just to say that one sentence...

Has it REALLY been almost two weeks since he died?!? Wow, time flies when you're... in New Jersey? I don't know.

They keep mentioning how there are so many really young people in the audience. I clearly lived under a rock under I was 12 years old and discovered Alanis Morisette.

(the actual event has started)
SMOKEY. It appears as if he is reading condolences sent from others. I'm ok with that. Diana Ross, Nelson Mandela. All better when Smokied up.

(there is some sort of lull. they're talking about the program attendees received--those will undoubtedly go for colossal amounts of money on eBay...)

Oooh pretty gospel music as they're bringing the casket up onto the stage.
Another lull. But finally, the rowdy fans come out.

Pastor Lucius Smith out to talk. I like this fellow; he seems very good at saying appropriate things in a spiritual manner befitting a funeral without overstating.

Here comes Mariah. (this is where it becomes increasingly hard for me to behave)
I hope that people are kind enough to suggest that she sounds like shit because she was overcome with grief for Michael. Also, her dress is... questionable at best, and she looks like she's swatting flies to find the correct pitches, which I don't ever remember her doing before.

Ooooh Queen Latifah! With words from Maya Angelou!!! Or, more accurately, a poem. A daaaaamn good poem.

Lionel Ritchie. He sounds good; some kind of religious song.
Random note: I like how the casket is between the stage and the audience under a spotlight. There are indubitably all sorts of symbolic things I could read into that, but I won't do that here.

Berry Gordy, founder of Motown Records. Ohhhhh don't cry, Berry... Please don't. Annnd now he's on a roll... *sputters* "The more I think about it, King of Pop isn't enough. I think he is simply... the greatest entertainer that ever lived."

Some kind of video montage... I imagine this is preceding Usher, or someone of comparable dance ability. Oh, wrong, Stevie Wonder. He seems really distraught, which automatically renders him the most sincere in my book.
Now, I have never been a Stevie fan (in fact, almost anti-Stevie in some respects...) but this is really beautiful. I'm not sure what the song is actually called.

Kobe and Shaq? haha. Awesome. NO! It's Kobe and MAGIC!!!!! AWESOME. I don't know if L.A. can handle seeing Kobe cry. Oh Magic... Oh this is terrible, haha, this would be the part where I start to cry.

Uh oh... Here's Jennifer Hudson! The part that I've been waiting for! She looks beautiful :) but I was expecting something more from her...

Al Sharpton, on his best behavior, I presume. In the interests of full disclosure, I was running back and forth from the kitchen attempting to make lunch because I have to leave here at 3:15, but what I heard of Al was pretty good.

JOHN MAYER. Looking clean and like an adult. I like it. Oooh Human Nature. I don't really like that John Mayer's not singing. It's not like he CAN'T sing well enough...
(Not that I didn't notice this earlier in the ceremony, but I would just like to say that the Jackson brothers look RIDICULOUS, but I love it. And I love the yellow ties!)

Brooke Shields. The first person to cry noticeably. I wasn't expecting her eulogy to be the best... but it's the most like one at a normal funeral, and I almost feel like he would have appreciated that more. Awwwwww The Little Prince! How oddly appropriate...
Jermaine Jackson singing "Smile" (written by Charlie Chaplin), which was apparently MJ's favorite song... I like it.

MLK's kids. I think he would be proud of them, which is maybe the best thing you could say about someone...
Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee (Houston, TX) on behalf of the Congressional Black Caucus. I'm sure there are all sorts of Congress-people thrilled that she just proclaimed that we are all innocent until proven guilty. Otherwise, I would probably appreciate her speech.

Ok, so I have to go now since I'm going into NYC to see a play (Blithe Spirit with Angela Lansbury), but I leave you with this:

Usher, please don't fuck up.

Also, although I admit to sometimes wondering how appropriate it is to compare Michael Jackson to Elvis (which is mostly (probably) just because I'm me), I think a significant argument could be made for his comparative legend status based on how many really decent people are coming out to either make statements or sing or do whatever in his memory.

I've got a bad case...

Well, I admittedly dropped off the face of the planet. Being in Ohio means dial-up internet and with my acute lack of patience, it makes it difficult to keep up with interwebs activity. Not that I cared much-- with the commencement of summer vacation came an addiction to the TV series ER, procured via Netflix, of which I have yet to rid myself.

This all started when I watched George Clooney's return to ER this season and decided I wanted to know more; I somehow almost wholly missed the ER craze. I saw a quite a few episodes from the Clooney years after it became syndicated, and I, of course, knew all of the major plot developments because I'd rush home from school to see Rosie O'Donnell and she inevitably interviewed all of the show's stars on a semi-regular basis. However, I decided to see for myself.

Currently, I am finishing up the 6th season and am madly in love with Dr. Kovac. Instead of writing an actual post, I am just going to ask a question:

To those of you who watched ER, either regularly or not, who was your favorite doctor/nurse and why?

I'm sure I'll have more to say when I either a) finish all 15 seasons or b) have a significantly less boring life.

American Idol Live-Blogging: Top 3

Well, now that my semester is over, I have little else to do besides sit on my ass, curse the Indians, and live-blog TV singing contests... Bully for you all. However, it appears I have an injury that may mean I hit the disabled list before the show's over (my right thumb/wrist/years old injury hurts like a mother). Now that Matty G's out, I have barely any loyalty to these people.

Danny--Paula's pick "Dance Little Sister" (Terrence Trent D'Arby)
Fuck, if he's still here next week, it'll be Paula's fault. . .
OMG DID KARA REALLY JUST SAY MONEY SPOT
My ice cream is more interesting than Danny Gokey. Raspberry Chip Royale, in case anyone's keeping track

Kris--Kara and Randy's pick "Apologize" (OneRepublic)
Holy shit! is his fingernail painted blue! I knew I liked him.
I kind of like this song. . . .And he sounds good.
I like that they made him be sad. Because his "Jesus loves the little children, and I want to be just like Jason Mraz post-Zen and raw foods craze" thing was what was killing it for me. . .
Why is Kara being a huge cunt tonight? Why. . . are all of them being huge cunts?
I hope that when they fire Kara this is the clip they play back.
AND I like Kris the best of the last three because he knows how to keep his goddamn mouth shut.

Adam--Simon's pick "One" (U2)
Fuck. This is my favorite U2 song (lyrically, anyway)
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mary J. Blige and Johnny Cash's very very different versions are both infinitely better than this.
With his hair cut shorter, he looks like a big, gay elf (pointy ears).
As if we ever wondered if the judges conspire to elevate a contestant. Like seriously. It's not like I think it was bad. . . but it was maybe his least inspired performance of the entire season.

Danny (Round 2): "You Are So Beautiful" (Joe Cocker)
*gag* You know it's a bad sign when my first thought is "John Belushi did it better."
Kara's got that "I'm a cunt and I know it" look on her face again.

Kris (Round 2): "Heartless" (Kanye West)
This is either going to be terrible or brilliant. No in-between. Either way, Kris apparently thought this was R&B week.
I doubt if Simon will like this. . . but I think it's pretty good. . . or at least ballsy. Which, at this point, is a quality it's nice to see from someone who's not named Adam Lambert.
Randy is a blasphemer, Kara's a dumb bitch, Simon is wonderful.

Adam (Round 2): "Cryin'" (Aerosmith)
Ay carumba.
Grrrrrr. Bad arrangement.
Wouldn't it be funny if it were Danny and Kris in the final and not Adam?
I would laugh. A LOT.
I may or may not already be voting for Kris.
I'm so glad this show is almost over. . . I can't deal with this much longer.

Answer my weary query, Timothy Leary dearie...

So, last night, Karen and I saw Hair on Broadway. It was mostly WOW with a little side of ehh (re: Gavin Creel)... I'm still organizing my primary thoughts, so I may edit this post later with an actual review.

However, I was dicking around on Amazon trying to figure out if they're going to release a cast recording (which they never do these days unless it is assured to make an exorbitant amount of money)... and I found this quote in their capsule review of the movie soundtrack:

"If nothing else, the CD is a glorious reminder of a time when social awareness, brotherly love, and mind expansion were mantras, not marketing rhetoric on the sides of soda bottles."

Last night, although truly amazed at the quality of the production and amused by how heavily they let contemporary social problems influence their actions... I kept having to repress my feelings that the whole thing was that special kind of synthetic hippie crap manufactured and sold to the highest bidder these days... Perhaps I am too jaded because of the appropriation of RENT by the ill-educated masses... Or perhaps because of my utter confusion at how quickly Spring Awakening closed.

But again, that's not any reflection of its quality as a piece of musical theater (especially a piece of musical theater that absolutely has the capability to revitalize Broadway as an institution. . . perhaps to even RENT-like proportions). . . and I'm certainly very glad I bought my ticket before it got nominated for 11 Tonys and the most heavily discounted tickets started going for $85 without all those damn fees.

I just have lots of thoughts.

You say co, I say caine

Quote from Lance Armstrong, lifted from Perez, apparently from Lance's new goddamn book,
In response to why he and Sheryl Crow broke up:

"Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one."

Oh. The greatest gift, huh? "A woman". . . as in. . . "ANY woman?"

Pig.

On a sinking ship

Now, like any good Indians fan, I am willing to state that if Matt LaPorta can save us from ignominious failure, he should absolutely be playing in the Big Leagues.

However, this makes me want to retch up the chocolate chip cookies I just ate. Thanks for that, Twitter.



Go to http://twitter.com/Gator4God for more vomit-inducing platitudes. And trust me there are plennnnty more.

This makes me glad that none of the rest of the actual Indians have Twitters. At least now the only reasons they give me to hate them are their low batting averages or high ERAs. If any of them had Twitters, I could potentially hate them for their social views or their illiteracy or numerous other things that I judge people on for shits and giggles. I highly doubt that all my boys would be as awesome as Steve Nash, with all his High Fidelity-esque Top 5 lists. It's a shame I don't have any personal stake in Steve Nash as a person or a player.

EDIT, 11:39pm: And a shout-out to Meena for introducing me to Steve Nash's Twitter.

Cotton Candy and a Rotten Mouth

This is the cutest baseball picture ever. Like, I can't stand it. It's from after Tuesday's game when the Indians did that rare thing that we in the trade call "win," through yet another instance that leads me to the conclusion that Asdrubal Cabrera is the luckiest man in baseball.


However, that is not why I'm posting.

I'm kind of entranced by this article, entitled "Sipp Hopes to Give Back to Gulf Coast" and focusing on what I hope is [legitimately] the Indians' next big thing, relief pitcher Tony Sipp.

I am impressed for these reasons:

1) I did not realize that Sipp was only 25. If these last three appearances since being called up from Columbus (3 innings, 1 walk, 6 strikeouts, 0.00 ERA) are for real, hot DAMN he's got some kind of level head on his shoulders.

2) I read an article in Sports Illustrated last year about how the number of African-American Major League Baseball players is becoming smaller and smaller, even considering the inner city baseball programs that have been championed in recent years. Now, I'd say that this phenomenon is fairly obvious from the number of players on any given team that cannot speak English and maybe kind of tragic considering how many of the names in the record books belong to African-American players. I read articles like the one on Tony Sipp, and I get all weepy-eyed thinking about how much he could really achieve.

and finally, 3) this quote, for those of you with no desire to actually read the article:

"I am, by far, not the best athlete to come out of my town," Sipp said. "Some guys are really good athletes but can't make the grades to go to a D-I school in football. Or they get caught with some kind of drug. I don't know what they're doing, letting something crazy set them back. Whatever name I do make for myself, hopefully I can use it to help somebody else not make those mistakes."

Good stuff. I'd even be willing to let his ERA rise a few points ;-)